Navigating Team Friction Lara Hogan @lara_hogan

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Forming

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Forming Storming

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Forming Storming Norming

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Forming Storming Norming Performing

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Forming Storming Norming Performing

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Storming = friction

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Team friction impacts your coworkers , company , and users .

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Feign surprise “Well, actually” Rewriting their code Skipping code review User experience degrades

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(Why not just wait for a manager to intervene ?)

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Brains! Communication ✨

Feedback Prevention 1 2 3 4

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When was a recent ‘Hulk’ moment?

Brain Chemistry

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“Don’t worry, I got this!”

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Core Needs palomamedina.com/biceps/ 6

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Belonging Community, connection 1

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Belonging Community, connection 1 Flickr: whisperwolf

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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, 
 improving the lives of others 2

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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, 
 decision-making 3

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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, 
 equal reciprocity 4

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Predictability Resources, time, direction, 
 future challenges 5

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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6

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B elonging I mprovement/Progress C hoice E quality/Fairness P redictability S ignificance

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“Why is my teammate

reacting so strongly?”

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Desk Moves

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Belonging Community, connection 1

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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, 
 improving the lives of others 2

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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, 
 decision-making 3

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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, 
 equal reciprocity 4

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Predictability Resources, time, direction, 
 future challenges 5

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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6

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Yo, what’s up?

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Resistance → Data

Most common responses

when a threat is detected

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Doubt

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Doubt 2. Avoid

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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight

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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond

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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route

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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route } Data

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Spot some resistance … Ask open questions!

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Spot some resistance Map to 
 core need(s) Ask open questions!

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“…What do you think folks are liking + disliking about it so far?”

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“I wanted to get your take on X.
What could go wrong?
What do you think might 
 be good about it?”

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“What feels most upsetting

about this?”

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Spot some resistance Map to 
 core need(s) Address 
 core need(s) Ask open questions!

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Spot some resistance Map to 
 core need(s) Address 
 core need(s) Ask open questions! mention it to your manager

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The ✨ magic ✨ of communication style

Reflect on the dynamics in the room

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Be aware of your medium

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Consider the room’s 
 power dynamics

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Is this person in a position

to take the action I’m suggesting?

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Elevate the conversation

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Meet transparency


 with responsibility

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Assume best intentions

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Practice empathy

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Listen to learn

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Prepare to be surprised

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Reflect on the dynamics


 in the room 2. Elevate the conversation 3. Assume best intentions

Listen to learn

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Mindful Communication 
 in code reviews

http://amy.tech

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Give feedback

Humans are bad at feedback.

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We can get better
at giving and 
 receiving feedback.

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Good feedback is specific

and actionable .

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General Specific & Actionable Positive Feedback   Negative Feedback   LIFELABS

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Distill that feedback.

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Feedback equation

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observation of a behavior

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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +

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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +

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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +

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Ask about their preferred feedback medium

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When you cause some friction

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Prepare your brain to receive

feedback

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Think about one

piece of feedback you’ll ask for when you’re back at work.

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Prevention

Flickr: smkybear

Bake it into team processes

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Retrospectives

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Team charters and docs

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What if you disagree with what management says?

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Disagree Agree Commit Don’t 
 Commit

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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t 
 Commit

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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t 
 Commit Bad Things

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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t 
 Commit Acceptable 
 but Tough Bad Things

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Disagree Agree Commit Mature and Transparent Easiest Don’t 
 Commit Acceptable 
 but Tough Bad Things

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Practice finding
other

ways to
address BICEPS

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Belonging Community, connection 1

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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, 
 improving the lives of others 2

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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, 
 decision-making 3

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Bring in leadership or HR

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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +

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State what’s been tried , and what you think 
 could help now

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Examples! Take care of yourself

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Hey, thanks!

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