Navigating Team Friction Lara Hogan @lara_hogan
A presentation at An Event Apart Washington DC in July 2018 in Washington, DC, USA by Lara Hogan
Navigating Team Friction Lara Hogan @lara_hogan
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Forming
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Forming Storming
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Forming Storming Norming
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Forming Storming Norming Performing
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Forming Storming Norming Performing
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Storming = friction
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Team friction impacts your coworkers , company , and users .
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Feign surprise “Well, actually” Rewriting their code Skipping code review User experience degrades
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(Why not just wait for a manager to intervene ?)
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Brains! Communication ✨
Feedback Prevention 1 2 3 4
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When was a recent ‘Hulk’ moment?
Brain Chemistry
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“Don’t worry, I got this!”
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Core Needs palomamedina.com/biceps/ 6
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Belonging Community, connection 1 Flickr: whisperwolf
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4
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Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5
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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6
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B elonging I mprovement/Progress C hoice E quality/Fairness P redictability S ignificance
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“Why is my teammate
reacting so strongly?”
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Desk Moves
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4
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Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5
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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6
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Yo, what’s up?
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Resistance → Data
Most common responses
when a threat is detected
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Doubt
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Doubt 2. Avoid
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route } Data
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Spot some resistance … Ask open questions!
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Ask open questions!
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“…What do you think folks are liking + disliking about it so far?”
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“I wanted to
get your take
on X.
What could go wrong?
What do you think might
be good about it?”
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“What feels most upsetting
about this?”
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Address core need(s) Ask open questions!
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Address core need(s) Ask open questions! mention it to your manager
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The ✨ magic ✨ of communication style
Reflect on the dynamics in the room
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Be aware of your medium
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Consider the room’s power dynamics
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Is this person in a position
to take the action I’m suggesting?
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Elevate the conversation
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Meet transparency
with responsibility
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Assume best intentions
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Practice empathy
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Listen to learn
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Prepare to be surprised
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Reflect on the dynamics
in the room 2. Elevate the conversation 3. Assume best intentions
Listen to learn
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Mindful Communication in code reviews
http://amy.tech
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Give feedback
Humans are bad at feedback.
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We can
get better
at giving and
receiving feedback.
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Good feedback is specific
and actionable .
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General Specific & Actionable Positive Feedback Negative Feedback LIFELABS
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Distill that feedback.
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Feedback equation
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observation of a behavior
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +
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Ask about their preferred feedback medium
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When you cause some friction
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Prepare your brain to receive
feedback
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Think about one
piece of feedback you’ll ask for when you’re back at work.
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Prevention
Flickr: smkybear
Bake it into team processes
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Retrospectives
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Team charters and docs
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What if you disagree with what management says?
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Disagree Agree Commit Don’t Commit
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit Bad Things
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit Acceptable but Tough Bad Things
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Disagree Agree Commit Mature and Transparent Easiest Don’t Commit Acceptable but Tough Bad Things
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Practice finding
other
ways
to
address BICEPS
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Bring in leadership or HR
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +
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State what’s been tried , and what you think could help now
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Examples! Take care of yourself
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Hey, thanks!
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