A presentation at An Event Apart Washington DC in in Washington, DC, USA by Lara Hogan
Navigating Team Friction Lara Hogan @lara_hogan
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Forming
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Forming Storming
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Forming Storming Norming
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Forming Storming Norming Performing
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Forming Storming Norming Performing
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Storming = friction
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Team friction impacts your coworkers , company , and users .
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Feign surprise “Well, actually” Rewriting their code Skipping code review User experience degrades
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(Why not just wait for a manager to intervene ?)
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Brains! Communication ✨
Feedback Prevention 1 2 3 4
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When was a recent ‘Hulk’ moment?
Brain Chemistry
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“Don’t worry, I got this!”
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Core Needs palomamedina.com/biceps/ 6
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Belonging Community, connection 1 Flickr: whisperwolf
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4
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Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5
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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6
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B elonging I mprovement/Progress C hoice E quality/Fairness P redictability S ignificance
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“Why is my teammate
reacting so strongly?”
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Desk Moves
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4
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Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5
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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6
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Yo, what’s up?
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Resistance → Data
Most common responses
when a threat is detected
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Doubt
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Doubt 2. Avoid
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route
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Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route } Data
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Spot some resistance … Ask open questions!
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Ask open questions!
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“…What do you think folks are liking + disliking about it so far?”
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“I wanted to
get your take
on X.
What could go wrong?
What do you think might
be good about it?”
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“What feels most upsetting
about this?”
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Address core need(s) Ask open questions!
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Spot some resistance Map to core need(s) Address core need(s) Ask open questions! mention it to your manager
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The ✨ magic ✨ of communication style
Reflect on the dynamics in the room
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Be aware of your medium
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Consider the room’s power dynamics
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Is this person in a position
to take the action I’m suggesting?
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Elevate the conversation
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Meet transparency
with responsibility
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Assume best intentions
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Practice empathy
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Listen to learn
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Prepare to be surprised
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Reflect on the dynamics
in the room 2. Elevate the conversation 3. Assume best intentions
Listen to learn
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Mindful Communication in code reviews
http://amy.tech
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Give feedback
Humans are bad at feedback.
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We can
get better
at giving and
receiving feedback.
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Good feedback is specific
and actionable .
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General Specific & Actionable Positive Feedback Negative Feedback LIFELABS
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Distill that feedback.
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Feedback equation
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observation of a behavior
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior question or request + +
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Ask about their preferred feedback medium
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When you cause some friction
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Prepare your brain to receive
feedback
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Think about one
piece of feedback you’ll ask for when you’re back at work.
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Prevention
Flickr: smkybear
Bake it into team processes
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Retrospectives
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Team charters and docs
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What if you disagree with what management says?
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Disagree Agree Commit Don’t Commit
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit Bad Things
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Disagree Agree Commit Easiest Don’t Commit Acceptable but Tough Bad Things
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Disagree Agree Commit Mature and Transparent Easiest Don’t Commit Acceptable but Tough Bad Things
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Practice finding
other
ways
to
address BICEPS
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Belonging Community, connection 1
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Improvement/Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
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Bring in leadership or HR
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observation of a behavior impact of that behavior +
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State what’s been tried , and what you think could help now
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Examples! Take care of yourself
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Hey, thanks!
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Friction is a common, and necessary, part of team growth--but when left unchecked, team friction is unhealthy for you, your coworkers, your company, and ultimately your end users. In this engaging talk, Lara will draw on her experiences at organizations large and small to illuminate the sources of team tension, how you can better understand and manage unexpected teammate reactions, and the best ways to give actionable feedback without escalating drama. You’ll walk away with tactics you can employ immediately to address and improve your relationship with your teammates. Your coworkers, your organization, your users, and you will reap the benefits.
The following resources were mentioned during the presentation or are useful additional information.
for free. You
can too.